The Gracie Update

It’s time for some serious catch-up on all things Miss Gracie. To set the record straight, it has not been my intent to exclude her from updates here. In fact, I have so many partially started posts sitting in blogger, that it’s shameful! The problem is, Gracie’s updates require a great deal of explanation and, well, truth be told, gathering my thoughts and getting them put to paper (or screen) has been very difficult the last several months. The move (so much surrounding that should be its own post!) and taking care of three kids (two of whom rely on me completely for everything) have made the more thought-full blog posts take a back seat. I’ve just been too overwhelmed with the day-to-day - - we are busy living!  

All dressed... and finally somewhere to go!
Gracie was super excited on her first day of school! (I was a nervous wreck!)

I’ll start with the best news… Gracie finally started school on Tuesday, September 18^th… after over five months total out of the classroom.   We weren't sure what she could handle after so long out of school (but for a couple of visits to her new class while we waited to find nursing).  In true Gracie fashion, she was gang-busters for her first day and when I stopped by the class just before picking Preston up (they are on the same campus!!!), they told me she was fine to stay the last full hour.  She was signing, responding to questions and involved in the day.  I walked out of the room with tears in my eyes.  Happy tears.  Relieved tears.

My quick snapshot of Gracie Girl before we wheeled her into class.
 I didn't want to make a big fuss, but still tried to capture her... It's not the best picture, but the moment was big and I wouldn't be me if I didn't try to capture it!

Before she could start school here, we had to establish private nursing at home  (and that nurse would attend school with her).  Accomplishing that task proved to be (just as I figured it would) quite difficult.  We don't exactly live in the most convenient community as far as commuting goes.  (That being said, we are finding that, even though this is a small community east of Mt. Diablo that was comprised mostly of orchards and farmland only two decades ago, it is proving to be very "special needs" friendly in many ways.)  Because of our location, we met only four nurses over the course of two months… one of whom basically admitted liking dogs more than kids (and was 30 minutes late and sans bra … and that wasn’t a good thing!) and another who, though super nice, would likely be relocating in six months.  Then we met Girlie, Gracie’s new nurse.  She worked a full week before we had Gracie start school and has now been with us a month.  Girlie has taken a definite interest in learning to sign the basics with Gracie and Gracie seems to like her.  (Because of the timing of our "modified year-round" schedule, Gracie has only had 8 days in the classroom - - the first two weeks of October are the fall break. I look forward to Gracie getting back into the real groove of school this coming Monday.  And, if I am being totally honest, I am just plain looking forward to both of the big kids going back to school!) 

I haven’t met Gracie's entire school team, but obviously know her teacher and aide… both of whom I adore.  Everyone within the district and county has made a huge effort to get Gracie into the classroom as fast as possible and has gone the extra mile to make her transition happy and seamless.  Thus far, the communication with me has been fantastic and the classroom has an open door policy, so I can drop in whenever to check out how things are going.  So far, so good.

As many of you know from communication outside the blog, we pulled Gracie out of school in April.  The details will not be posted here… at least not for now.  Suffice it to say, we take her education and school experience seriously and pulling her out of her program was not a hasty decision, but the circumstances surrounding (what turned out to be) her last day required quick action on our part.  As we searched for new placement and subsequently found what looked to be a great school, we learned that John was to be transferred back to Northern California.  It seemed unfair to start Gracie in a new program in late May, have her attend for a few weeks of the regular school year and only two weeks of the extended school year before moving her 369 miles to start all over again.  More than any of us, Gracie was facing so much change in such a short time.   Her world had been full of goodbyes… some explained prior to them happening (like losing her long-time Occupational Therapist when she moved away in January) and some just happened.  Even though we felt she was better off not returning to her school placement, she lost her familiar routine and the people in it, including all of her peers.  With the move, she lost the familiarity of our friends, our neighborhood, our home, her wonderful nurse (tireless advocate, friend, park pal, playmate), Pearl, her great therapy family and her doctors (some of whom we adored).  Everything turned on a dime for Gracie and, unlike the move in late 2008, she didn’t handle it all that well.



Gracie cruising on her favorite trike during her last day of Physical Therapy before the move.
Behind her is the wonderful Director of that therapy unit, Kristen, and her beloved, dedicated PT, Laural.
We both miss our old therapy family so much!

 

Miss G working the stairs with Pearl and the top motivating her with toys and Laural helping her press on.

 

With Kelsey, her sweet as pie Occupational Therapist

With Laural... whom we not only loved as Gracie's PT, but also as a friend

The goodbyes were so hard for me - - not just because of my own feelings about leaving - - but because as Gracie’s mom, I knew that her world was in the process of literally tilting on its axis and I had no guaranteed way of helping her fully understand it or protect her from what she would feel as a result.  Our decision to move was family based… not Gracie-based.  That is, while we naturally must consider all of Gracie’s specific and particular needs first, we must consider the fact that we are a family unit and decisions like a big, life altering move must consider Gracie, but not only Gracie.  There were a lot of tears shed on my part… for all of us.  But the biggest ones have come since the move, wondering when and how things would start to settle for her… and inside those tears was (is) a lot of guilt for disrupting her world so much.

Pearl and Gracie heading out on one of their park outings.
We miss her tons!

For over two months, she was depressed.  Her feedings, though always challenging, became more of a struggle.  Her behaviors became more challenging.  She was unmotivated to do much of anything. Granted, in the first days at the new house, she was eager to check things out, but for the most part, she just hung out, unmotivated to play or walk much.  And, because it was extremely hot most days, she didn’t even get the chance to be outside much except for first thing in the morning - - a huge change from living just a few miles from the beach.   With the exception of our immediate family, every bit of her routine and the people in it, was taken away.  She even lost therapy time because she was wait-listed for the first two and a half months after we relocated.  Between July 13^th and September 18^th, her good days could be counted on one hand. 

Thankfully, there was good in there and... we took pictures! 



Life of leisure in the pool!
The first weekend after we moved, we drove halfway back to our old house to spend the day with family.
To say that Gracie thoroughly enjoyed their new pool would be an understatement! I think if Gracie understood the concept of a wish, she'd wish for this in her own backyard!

Hanging with Daddy... one of Gracie's favorite things.

Another good thing... John is off on Sundays.  This hasn't been the case in nearly four years!
On one of John's first Sundays off, we took a long family walk, stopping for lunch and park time.  Gracie spontaneously signed "happy" and "family" while we were lunching.  That, I can assure you, made up for a lot of really rough days for me.  Gracie's simple expression refueled me on so many levels.
 

Hanging with Gavin... Gracie seems to enjoy him as much as she did Preston at that age.
I think she remembers a lot from that time, too.  She chuckles at him regularly, even from across the room and has, on more than one occasion, signed "cry" when he's fussing. 

Hanging with two of her most favorite people in the world!

I love this!  I was loading up the car and signed to Gracie, who was in a different room than Gavin, that it was time to go.  I came back inside after taking my first load of stuff to the car to find that she had not only crossed the house, but had brought him his chewy ring, and was sitting up like this in his car seat to give it to him! 

So, it hasn't been all bad... just not an overabundance of good.  The important thing is we appear to have passed that really tough space and, with the exception of getting "medically re-established" (9 specialists, a pediatrician, a dentist and several therapists...), we are on the other side of a lot of hard stuff. 

(A little "good" teaser... Remember the blue feather from last November?  There was a "blue feather" day recently - - actually, it was more than a day - - stay tuned for that cuteness!)

Gavin (Month 7)

Once again, your pictures from your monthly green chair photo shoot leave me unable to make a decision!
Your sweet, happy face and priceless expressions fill each image and I love each one for different reasons.
 

You look so big here... Mr. Long Legs!
You are definitely not built like Daddy and Preston - - both of whom have long torsoes and shorter legs. 
YOU have some long legs, buddy!
 

Be still my heart.  I LOVE this! 
Your innocent-but-not-so-innocent expression makes me smile ear to ear!
 

Dear Gavin,

You are seven months old and busier than ever!  I can't turn my back for more than a few seconds and, I fear, in just a few days, that will change to "I can't turn my back."  You are scooting everywhere in an army crawl fashion and are fast as can be!  In fact, just in the last few days, I have been shocked at how fast you'll cross the house to get after something I tried to redirect you from just a moment before.  You grab onto anything you think might help you pull yourself up and you're army crawling over most things that get in your way (pillows, my legs, toys, Gracie!). You're pushing up onto all fours, but haven't yet started to crawl. It will just be a matter of days before you get up and take off.  When that happens, life, as I know it (and you view it) will never be the same!

In the last month, you...

- Had your first haircut on your 7 month birthday.   (Notice that your former faux-hawk-turned-comb-over is gone in those green chair pics?!)

Let's face it, the "Trump-do" had to go. Now, all of your "original" hair is gone and only the super blonde "new" hair is left. You look adorable! (Okay... so I might be biased!)

Nope!  Not biased!  You and your new 'do are adorable!  Seriously.

- Enjoyed a whole host of new foods.  Though you're only having a small "snack" of solids and a good-sized dinner in the evening, you love your food!

- Discovered that gnawing on a frozen washcloth is quite wonderful for your gums and even seem to prefer it to most of the teething toys we have.

In addition to showing your intent gnawing on the washcloth, here is a decent shot of that comb-over just a few minutes before we chopped it off! 

- Discovered grass.  You are obsessed with touching it, pulling at it and, of course, trying to eat it.  It, however, is not nice to you and makes you very red and itchy, just like your brother.  Like Gracie, you are also fascinated by flowers.  When I say, "Smell the flower, Gavin," you lean in and stick out your tongue!  It's so cute!  I will miss it when you figure out how to sniff!

- Started consistently waving "hi" and sometimes "bye-bye."
On September 2nd, when we decided it was official, Preston cheered and clapped for you and then asked me, "Are you going to freak out and cry?!"  It was downright hilarious!

- Mastered sitting up on your own.  Though, sitting is not moving, and, therefore, you don't stay that way long!



You are often busy "racing" your brother to various toys!  He cracks up as he plays with you, often in disbelief at how fast you've gotten and how much you can do even though you're so much smaller than he is!  He thoroughly enjoys playing with you and watching the two of you interact brings me endless joy (and elicits endless squeaks and squeals from you!)

You... at 6.5 months, surprising me by getting all the way from the play room to the laundry room in the time I walked into your bedroom to put something away. 

- Experimented more and more with your voice.  You squeal and squeak with delight.   Even Daddy calls you "Squeak" now (in addition to Boo-Dee).  Your squeaks have made a serious comeback and have all kinds of different tones depending on what you are doing.  You babble a ton, too.  And, with many sounds, seem to be trying really hard to imitate what you hear.   You also watch intently when we sign to you and Gracie.
(I have some great video footage of you, but, for some reason, I can't get videos to upload!)

 

You are so much fun and so incredibly busy!  Though I remember many things about Preston at this age, I forgot how entirely exhausting it can be to keep up with a mobile baby and still try to get things done during the day!   By the time you and your siblings are tucked into bed at night, I am ready to collapse!  I look so forward to seeing what levels of exhaustion you can cause me to reach as you grow and change in the next month! 

I love you, Squeaky Boo!
Mommy

Gavin (Month 6)

Dear Sweet Gav-man, You are six months old. A half a year. HALF a year. I just can't believe how fast this has gone. You were, just a blink ago... actually seven months to-the-day ago... right here with me... in me:

Taken by our dear friend and Sister-in-CHARGE, Catherine Lacey Dodd, during a once-in-a-lifetime pregnancy photo shoot.  (And, no, I am not nude!  Just an exposed belly!)
If you're looking for a photographer, hire her... she is amazing!

Six months to-the-day ago, you were in my arms... barely an hour old:

And now, today, here you are:

Aside from having your first cold, you are a healthy, rapidly growing and ever-changing sweetie pie.

You love:

- Your brother. So much. You literally try to turn your head around like an owl to find him when you hear his voice. The smiles you give him are unmatched when compared to the rest of the people in your world (possibly combined!). And, he adores you, too.

- Your sister. So much... and yet so differently than your brother. And that only makes sense. You quietly observe her and don't get too mad when she steals a toy you were playing with and squeal with delight when she gives one back. I quite enjoy the interactions between you (though I am often a referee between keeping your hands from pulling her hair, your feet from kicking her face and her from attacking each and every part of you - - just because she doesn't understand her own strength) as it all reminds me so much of when Preston played with her as a baby. I am eager to see how your relationship with her develops.

- Mommy (the milk-lady and the person you seek when you're fussy or tired) and Daddy (the fun guy).

- Bath time. Oh my do you LOVE your baths! You giggle, squeal and babble with glee when you're in the bath. You get excited when we ask you if you're ready and go crazy when you hear the water running. You even squeak in there... which makes me wish that nickname stuck. I still think it suits you!

- Being outside. You don't care what you're doing, you just like being out there.

- Putting anything and everything in your mouth!  I forgot what it's like to have a quick, determined baby in the house! 

This month, you:

- Ate your first solids... and now love your evening high-chair meal.

You were so happy to be sitting in your highchair!
(And I was so excited, I forgot to give you a bib!)

You were eager to eat, yet so very unsure about what you were eating! 
Your first solid food was a smashed banana and, despite the faces you made as you adjusted to the texture and taste, you really loved it!  We skipped the whole "cereal" nonsense... Preston didn't ever like it and I think it's smells terrible and tastes even worse.  So, I decided that subjecting you to it wasn't necessary.  Glad to know that your doctor agreed - - though I wouldn't have cared anyway!

After a few bites, Preston, on his own, got the bananas off the counter and showed, told and signed to you what you were eating.  So sweet, so thoughtful... such a natural teacher!

"Ahhh... that's better.  I like doing it myself!"

- Had another date with Chloe... and bid her farewell as her parents (and the Navy) had the nerve to move her to Virginia.



We will miss these little "dates" so much!

Your face says it all.  "Wait... What?!  Chloe's moving... to Virginia?!"
 

- Swam for the first time (during your date with Chloe) and, no surprise, you loved it! (Although you don't look like it in this picture!)

So very serious! 

- Started, in tiny spurts, sitting independently. You have gone up to 30 seconds several times before you topple over. It won't be long and you'll be hanging out like that. Sigh.

At six months you are...
15 pounds, 15 ounces and 27.5 inches

- Cut your first tooth.... just a few days ago. It was very bittersweet for mama as it means you're growing up. There is another one about to burst through right next to it. You are not enjoying teething and definitely are having some fussy moments as a result. Sorry Boo-Dee. Growing up is tough work and I hate seeing you verging on inconsolable.

You light up our worlds in ways that we didn't know were dim. You make us all see things a bit differently... as babies often do... but because you're ours, we think the effect is extra spectacular. You are a little observer and thinker... a bit more on the serious side. Yet, when you laugh or smile (which, even though you're serious, is often), you can light up a room.
You love a game of peek-a-boo and do the most hilarious head shake as a way to ask for me to shake my head and wiggle my cheeks.
You engage in copying games of lip smacking and raspberry blowing as well as all kinds of silly antics with your daddy and brother.
You also enjoy "growling" at Preston and Daddy - - a result of the hearing the "pirate" voices we think. You're constantly experimenting with your voice and incredibly observant when we sign.

You are so busy - - as evidenced in our monthly photo session in the green chair. 
I had to click quick because you were too wiggly and I was too afraid you'd launch yourself right over the chair onto the tile floor!

Though so many of the newborn traits you had are gone, I still soak you up as much as I can, trying to burn each stage on my brain. We spend our best quiet, alone time together in the early morning hours when no one else is awake. I memorize your baby face, feel your breath on my cheek after you finish nursing, and record in my brain each sound you make. And even though you've nearly doubled in size, I can, in those quiet moments, still remember what you were like when you were brand new six whole months ago.

I love you with all my heart, sweet boy... just like your sister and brother.
You complete our little flock perfectly.

~ Mommy

GOAL!!!!!

Last week (on the 6th) Preston started soccer.  He's not playing on a team, rather attending an academy that meets three days a week for two straight months.  At this age, they focus on individual skill development through ball mastery. The coaches combine drills, competitive 1v1 games and fun small-sided games that concentrate on touches on the ball.  While it sounds like work and training, it's proving to be a ton of fun and Preston loves going. 

I had a hard time deciding what pics to post... John got so many great shots throughout the session. And, looking at Preston's face makes me so happy. As he is working through the drills, he is grinning ear-to-ear... so entirely full of joy... I just adore that about him!

Because Gavin had fallen asleep in the car and Gracie was too hot in the 90+ degree heat, only John stayed (and took fabulous pics).  When I came back to pick them up, I heard Preston before I found him in the sea of little boys in the various groups on the field.  He was cheering on the other kids in his group... so supportive, so joyful, so animated and so very loud!  Makes me smile just thinking about it.



Preston in action during one of his 1v1 scrimmages

Running back to the boys in his group for a big hug after he scored!

I love that his tongue is out... reminds me of my brother!!  His tongue was always out when he played soccer!

Can't believe John got this shot!



Or this one!

This cracks me up... blurry because it was hard for John to focus that fast! 
So entirely Preston!

Hello Kindergarten!

On Tuesday, July 31st, Preston started Kindergarten.   KINDERGARTEN!!! 
(Wasn't he just Gavin's age?!)

The day before school started, I took him to his "Sneak a Peek" at school. It was an opportunity to meet his teacher, get familiar with the classroom and meet some of his classmates. The week before school started, his teacher sent out a letter and a postcard to each of the students.    Preston LOVES getting mail, so she was instantly "awesome" in his book!  Then, on the "sneak a peek" day, she had a classroom treasure hunt and the kids received a "Cool Kindergartner" band, a book from the "David Goes to School" series and a few special treasures to remind them of important things about themselves and their experiences.  She also had a few things to make the parents comfortable and prepared. There were so many thoughtful little touches - - I could tell we would like her right away!

His morning consisted of a healthy breakfast on the special red plate. (We received our red plate from our dear, former neighbors, Paloma and Julio. At the time, I didn't know about the "red plate" tradition. I loved the idea so much we decided to implement it in our family. The fact that our plate is from people who are special to us makes the tradition even more fun.)

Nana and Papa drove two hours to be at our house to send him off on his first day. They were also here to help with Gracie and Gavin so that John and I could take Preston together. Later, they watched Gavin while John and I took Gracie for a classroom visit and meeting. (She can't actually start school until we establish nursing... which is another story.)

During the obligatory "first day" photos, John made him laugh. Love these...

And then Nana took one of our special boy with both his parents...

And then we were off to school. His teacher met us at the door and let the late bird kids know where their lunches, snacks and "completed work" belong. Then, with a quick kiss and hug goodbye, our boy confidently walked into the classroom, put his backpack into his cubby and walked over to his seat at the table and sat down. Just like that.

He had a great day and came home with more treasures that helped spark so many conversations about his first day.

The rest of the week went off without too many hitches... for him, anyway!  I, on the other hand, had some "heart-crunchy" moments. (Thanks for that term, Hannah!  It's a perfect description!)

On Wednesday, I walked in with Preston (pushing Gavin and Gracie in our double stroller) and waited in line on the playground.   He tried striking up a conversation with a boy in his class - - asked if he wanted to play at recess, got shot down completely and was told by the little boy that he was going to play with his friend in a different class. Preston just stood there, taking in the conversation and looking deflated.  I stood there, blinking back the tears that were stinging my eyes behind my sunglasses.  Preston looked at me with a bummed expression and I gently said that maybe his classmate could introduce him to the other friend if he asked.  He just shook his head.  I went home and cried, feeling so sad that my boy was experiencing the pains of growing up (knowing full-well that these lessons are necessary, but still not happy that he could have been hurt by the rejection). As the kids walked in their line to class and the parents filed out of the gate, I heard him kindly remind that same little boy that they're supposed to walk on the line, not next to it. I was proud of my little leader and the fact that he wasn't phased by the conversation that had occurred just minutes before.

On Thursday, he asked if he could walk in through the gate to his classroom by himself. I let him... because I know how independent he is and wants to be, but stayed where I could watch him go in... proud and sad at the same time.  Again, heart-crunchy.  (I have not let him walk to his room alone again... even though he keeps asking.  I know he is capable, but I am not ready!)  When I picked him up Thursday, he said it had been, "The best day ever!"  I asked what made it so great and he said that he played with the very same boy from Wednesday morning's encounter (and his friend from another class).  So cute.  And I was worried about what, exactly?!

We have now completed the second week of kindergarten and, by all accounts, everything is going great!  He was "Coyote of the Day" on Monday and on Wednesday, I attended his "Back to School Night" and got a good picture of the class structure and how his teacher runs things.   She showed this video...  which served to solidify all the things I was already liking about her.

As many who know him well predicted, Preston has adjusted to our move and to kindergarten very well.  I am so excited to see how he grows and changes as he begins his elementary school career... though I am in no rush and still wish life had a "pause" button!