Happiness is... "Wicked"

This mama got out... for an entire day... with my mama... in San Francisco.
We rode BART in.
We lunched.
We saw Wicked.
It was a fantastic day!
If you haven't seen it, you should!  It is utterly fabulous!!!

Happiness is... 100 days smarter

Yesterday was the 100th day of school and so, on January 25th, the kids woke up 100 days smarter! 
Their classes celebrated throughout the day and the kids had so much fun!

This sign was at the main entrance and the kids all got to walk through it to enter the campus.
Preston loved this! I was bummed that I didn't grab my phone when we walked in, so I couldn't get a shot of him walking through!

My "100 days" kids and some of their fun 100 stuff.
I didn't get a picture of Gracie in her necklace when I picked her up, so after some serious negotiating, she agreed to wear it again for the photo!
Preston also made a Fruit Loop necklace, but ate it before I picked him up! (not surprising!)
His class was visited by "Zero the Hero," who, according to Preston, was "Cool, but not real."
They did all kinds of projects throughout the day and earlier in the week shared their individual collections of "100 items" that they each brought from home. (We brainstormed and came up with a list of 12 different items.  Preston finally settled on the "Woodsies" craft sticks. His choice... I voted for "Googly Eyes!)  Such a fun day!

Happiness is... 3.31 miles

Today was sunny, breezy and warm - - right around 60 degrees - - which is downright balmy compared to a week ago, or, for that matter, even just a few days ago.  So, I got everyone dressed (minus a jacket layer... yay!), loaded up our double BOB (blankets, a feeding and bolus set for Gracie, water bottles for Preston, Gavin and me, suction, jacket layers just-in-case, diapers and wipes) and we headed out for an afternoon in the Saturday sunshine.  We traveled 3.31 miles, stopping half-way for a snack and about 90 minutes of park time.  It was a happy afternoon.

We took our time and meandered along the way to our favorite mid-walk pit-stop, Willy's.

Preston was our fearless leader, pedaling along while I "wogged" behind him
pushing a considerable load!
(Wogging = walking and jogging)

Preston's bagel smile - - so happy to have a Willy's snack!

Gavin took a 20 minute cat-nap which was perfect timing for our Willy's stop.

Gracie also enjoyed a snack at Willy's... her own cup of whipped cream!

This was our view for the entire first half of our walk.

This park is right next to Willy's.  Gavin timed his siesta perfectly and was wide awake when I parked the stroller on the grass near the play structure.  After Gracie's turn sliding and a quick bolus feed, the rest of the time was spent keeping tabs on Preston while he made friends with every kiddo at the park and chasing Gavin... and keeping everything from the ground out of his mouth!

Happiness is... wearing dinner

We are thankful that Gavin is turning into a great little (well, BIG, actually!) eater.  He loves food and wants to be very independent.  (That's code for he won't allow but a bite or two via the spoon fed route.)

He eats all kinds of things already and it's pretty nice to just feed him what the rest of us are eating. On tonight's menu - - two varieties of Enchilada Casserole - - one beef with red sauce, black beans, olives and zucchini and the other was shredded rotisserie chicken with a verde sauce and black beans.  Gavin scarfed down black beans from both casseroles (spicy sauces and all), ate small bites of chicken, olives, etc.   He grubbed!

He happily squealed all through dinner... it was pretty darn tasty!
He kept signing "more" over and over and saying, "muh" as he shoveled it in. It was everywhere - - so much so that he had plenty of leftovers saved all over his head, face and hands!
 

Nothing like a good dinner followed by a yummy cookie.
(He even has a sign approximation forming for cookie!)
I wiped his tray down first because a cookie covered in red and verde sauce is just gross!

"Seriously, mama? The camera? I am busy with my cookie!"

Apparently we didn't serve him enough!
He removed his sock and promptly helped himself to a side of toes!
(Toby took off with his sock and two seconds later, Gavin removed the other one and said, "Dah" and looked for him! Silly boy!)

Happiness is... the ranch

"The Ranch" is beautiful property that has been in John's mom's side of the family for many generations.  The 640 acres sits in the Tassajara Valley and backs up to state land at the base of Mt. Diablo.  With the exception of just a few structures, grazing cattle and the various native wildlife (coyotes, deer, wild boars, mountain lions, etc.) this land is relatively untouched and is, especially now when everything is turning green again, truly breathtaking and serene.

John has countless wonderful memories of being on the ranch as a boy and, now that we are nearby again, he is enjoying sharing it with Preston and seeing it through his eyes and can't wait to do the same with Gavin.  John is excited that Preston is now old enough to make memories and find happiness there, too. While today was not Preston's first time at the ranch, it was the first time that John drove him into the backfield and showed him some amazing views.

When they got home this evening, Preston handed me a fossilized sea shell that he found and told me he was certain he saw a fossil of a dinosaur bone, too! He chatted on and on about feeding Grandma and Grandpa T's horses, how Scooter (the horse) counted using his hoof after Preston fed him a carrot, how he gave Scooter a kiss on his nose... you get the idea.  Happy, <i>happy</i> boy... happy daddy.

This shot was actually taken in May when everything is green!

Giddy to have taken the Jeep off-road with his Daddy

Love the way the light changed as the sun set

A million different rock outcroppings to climb!

Our boy... with his Daddy, driving the Jeep, on the ranch... happiness.

Happiness is... a DVR

... and the return of regular programming.  It makes me happy that my DVR records hours and hours of television (some good, some trash!) for me and I don't have to set a VCR and make sure I am not recording over someone else's prized program!  (Remember those days?!)  

Our house is quiet (but for the snoring) and I have a date with the TV that includes uninterrupted viewing of some of my shows.  Happiness.

Happiness is... finding it in the simple things

Today wasn't a spectacular day, nor was it awful.  It was just a typical, busy Thursday in which I found happiness in the following, simple things:

- I did not have to struggle with my five (and a half) year-old son to stay on task and get ready in a timely fashion this morning.  On the way to school, I thanked him for his good behavior.  His reply was that he is going to do that every day.  I am not holding my breath, but the eagerness with which he made his claim made me smile.

- I managed to accomplish three errands that had been nagging me on my to-do list (all before 11am).

- Gavin started standing (without holding anything) for about six seconds (much more than the split-second he's been doing!) and was very proud of himself.

- I got four loads of laundry done today (which means I can slack one day this weekend!) and by done I mean washed, dried and put away.

- John had a training day today, so instead of getting home just before the kids go to bed, he was home before we returned from picking Gracie up from school.  :-)

- Gracie had another good day at school... four in a row.  Her highlight today was riding (speed racing!) the adaptive bicycle around the playground.  She rode it yesterday, too, for 25 straight minutes.  Girlie told me that a little girl in general ed, who always shows such concern for Gracie when she is in her wheelchair out on the playground, saw her on the bike and said, "She's all better!"  So sweet! 

- John went grocery shopping.  It is a chore that he typically handles, with the exception of quick trips for a handful of items, but it always makes me happy that he does it.  I am not a fan of grocery shopping... at least not with kids in tow.

-  Preston didn't battle me too hard on homework ("It's so BORING, mama.") and it was done long before John returned from the store. 

- Everyone enjoyed fresh citrus after dinner.  (And we all missed the orange tree we had in our backyard down south.)

- All three kids had baths (the boys together, which is fun!) and, in order from youngest to oldest, were asleep by: 7:45, 8:30 and 9:00.

- My kitchen is clean (I loathe waking up to a mess in the kitchen!)

- I will be in bed (and hopefully asleep) by 10:00 for the second time this week.  (How long I am able to remain there is another matter.)

Happiness is... a surprise parcel from a thoughtful friend

There was a knock at the door, but when I opened it, no one was there.   I looked down and found the unmistakable brown box with the smile.   Amazon.   But, what was it?   I hadn't ordered anything.  Upon opening my surprise parcel, I discovered these two items from a dear, thoughtful (and very missed) friend:

Thank you so much Tracy!  I hadn't heard of  "The Happiness Project" and now I cannot wait to enjoy each of these! 

Happiness is... Happy Feet

A stolen hour getting a pedicure... especially after suffering a huge bonk on my head when John and I were unloading a piece of equipment for Gracie (saw stars for quite a while and still, tonight, have a rather painful headache)... was my big piece of happiness today. (And it forced me to sit still and relax for a bit following the mishap!)

Happiness is... Back to School!

This post should be of no surprise to anyone!
I am happy!  The (school-aged) kids both had great first days back to their routines.  I had some good, quality one-on-one time with Gavin and a breakfast date with my hubby.  What more could I ask for on a Monday morning?

Happiness is... Cupcake and Studmuffin

Another virtual date - - with carefully selected wardrobe - - for the little power couple. We aren't letting the fact that they currently live on opposite sides of the country hinder their ability to have play dates! We just need to figure out their press name... "Chlo-vin" or "Gav-lo" or perhaps, "Cupcake and Studmuffin!"

Happiness is... a slumber party

Tonight is the last official non-school night of the winter break.  Being keenly aware of this fact, Preston requested to "sleep in" with Gracie and we could not turn him down.  Whether he will remain there or she will sleep all night is doubtful.  For now, they are fast asleep and, now, so go I. (I hope!)

Happiness is... a brother's compassion

In my last few posts, I have alluded to some challenges with our sweet five (AND A HALF... and don't you forget it!) year-old.  I won't get into specifics here, but will say that some of the things I love most about our boy (like his strong personality) are now testing me to my breaking point.  (Both John and me, but I am the one who is home and when I am, it's with all three kids alone, so I get the brunt of  his pushing.)  He has been in enough trouble to have lost TV and iPad privileges for a week as well as his brand new toys for the first few days of that week.  Ugh.  (And that's torture for me, too!)  His extra energy and testing are going far beyond the regular "holiday-high" that most kids are on this time of year.  One minute our little man is his normal, cheery self.  The next... well... not so much.  Unrecognizable, really. 

Today was a pretty good, albeit busy, day.  He was excited about going to a classmate's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.  And, it was fun - - you know, as fun as Chuck E. Cheese can be for a parent trying to manage tokens and tickets and excitement while containing a super overstimulated baby as the excessively loud Chuck E. show played on the wall of televisions. ;) 

On our way home, we had to run a few errands.  As we pulled out of the parking lot at our last stop, Preston said to me (out of nowhere), "I wish Gracie could be me and I could be Gracie."

"What do you mean, Bubba?"

"I want her to be me so she can know what it's like to go to school without her wheelchair and run and have no trach and eat lunch with her friends like I do."

Instant nose-tingling tears. It was heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once. So proud of his good heart. Touched deeply by his thought process.  Overwhelmed by how much he loves his sister.  And relieved that, despite all that has been going on with him, his compassionate, sweet, loving soul still shines through.



Gracie and Preston at a neighborhood park on Wednesday

Happiness is... A Cup of Quiet

With Gracie's nurse back to work for the first time since 1pm on Friday, I took the boys to run a few errands and have lunch at the park.  As Preston ran around and Gavin slept cozily in his stroller, I enjoyed five minutes of quiet with the sunshine soaking into my back and this Venti Decaf Carmel Macchiato.
 

"Rekindle" was Starbucks' big holiday promotion.
Interesting that I didn't really pay attention to it until today.

By 5:30, the effects of my Venti Cup in the sun had worn off and I fought to remember my words (and Sark's) from just two days ago. I even posted on facebook that the lyrics, "And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again," were playing in my head. They were. Okay... they still are. Don't get me wrong, the holidays were great and there has been a lot of fun during the break... but there has also been some really challenging moments with a certain kindergartner and a lot (a lot) of downtime and alone-with-all-three-kids-who-have-extremely-varying-abilities-and-needs time.  I am not ashamed to admit that I am looking forward to the two eldest Swanns heading back to school. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy them or our time together. It just means I am keeping it real!

Happiness is... building a fort

This morning during breakfast, Preston asked if we could build a fort.  Part of me wanted to say no... because I had a bunch of things I wanted to do while Gavin was napping and, when he is awake, a fort is a dangerous thing.  He wants to climb it and pull it down... which means he is slipping all over the place and something can easily fall on him.   Before I let myself say, "Not today, Bubba," I took a breath and said, "Sure, once I get Gavin down for his nap."  Done.  I said yes... just like Sark suggests.  And, we were building a fort... again, as Sark (and Preston) suggests.

Breathing and Vest treatment for Gracie and a cheese-toast snack for Preston.
Fort Happiness.

Happiness is also being greeted by your big brother following your nap.
(See that tongue picture?  If we tell Gavin, "Show me your tongue!" He will do that!  It's perfect for the doctor... no tongue depressor for him!)

Before he helped tear it down, Gavin enjoyed some time in the fort while Gracie chuckled at the antics between her brothers.
After we tore it down, we took a walk and went to the park.
 

It's funny, the list of what I wanted to do during Gavin's nap turned into a shorter list of the things that had to get done. And I did get them done... along with playing Slap Jack, Go Fish and War ducked under Fort Happiness in our family room.

Happiness is... Sark

I've been in a blog rut as of late (not the most immediate late, as I've managed to include a lot of pictures from the holidays and events surrounding them), but as for real updates and the deeper things, I've been, well, too busy and too tired to gather my thoughts.  I still am - - my writing is anything but cohesive lately.  Okay, my thoughts in a normal conversation are anything but cohesive lately!  I can't even walk into a room and remember why I was there half the time. (Maybe even more often than that.)  The level of fatigue I am experiencing at the end of a day (which is never Gracie's "end" of the day!) is at an all time high... taking care of my little flock is exhausting.

It is rewarding, of course.  I am blessed to be home with my kids, of course.  I am beyond honored to mother all three of them, of course. The list of those thoughts are long.  That being said, I am tired.  I am often at my wits end.  I am impatient more times than I care to admit.  I am often unsure (ah... the "Uns") about my skill level at this job (especially when my kids are testing me to my breaking point).  I continually find myself comparing my days to the movie "Groundhog Day," for I feel (as many stay-at-home parents do, I am sure) that my life is on a constantly repeating reel.  These are not complaints; they are facts. 

I am known for not making resolutions for the new year... it sort of goes against my belief that it doesn't take turning a page on the calendar for me to make a decision to change something in my life.  It can be in the middle of a random Thursday afternoon (like when I make a concentrated effort to not lose my patience... a common mid-day resolution).  And, quite frankly, if we hinge too much on that first day of the year and our ability to be successful with whatever resolutions we make and, heaven forbid, have a bad day and/or mess with that resolution on day one (like don't overeat, blah blah blah) that we kill the tone for the new year.  And, really, forgiving ourselves for missteps and moving on is a lot easier if we realize that we can make a change at any time.

I am also NOT a fan of many things about January... again, not a secret!  When the decorations come down, the excitement in the air dissipates and we are left with the bare trees and monotony of the regular day-to-day... along with the realization that as good as the two (okay, at least three) weeks of eating whatever goodies we could get our hands on not only changed the fit of our jeans, it started a trend of wanting chocolate for breakfast and cookies for a snack.  (Oh... is that just me?!)  Anyway, in trying to work through my blog rut, in attempting to ward of the "Uns" and hopefully, to help me gather my thoughts on some bigger, pressing (and certainly blog-worthy) things, I am going to (attempt) to have a second installment of the series "Joy in January: Happiness Is."

I hope I am far more successful with this than I was with "Thankful" in November!  And, perhaps actively concentrating on a piece of happiness each day will lessen the weight of everything else - - or, at the very least, make my typical mid-day resolution of being more patient a great deal easier to achieve!

So, here we go!

Happiness Is... Sark.

I love Sark.

Before we moved, I had many of her words hanging on the walls of our playroom/computer area. My favorite piece (above) was handwritten and painted by my dear friend, Hannah. Sadly, I have not yet hung them back up since our move (along with most of our family pictures). And, in light of my need to remain calm and patient and remember that my children learn from my example and feed off of my energy, I have been taking a good, long look in the mirror. And, as I've evaluated my own behavior following some not-so-fun stuff with one of my offspring, some of these words from Sark's "How to Really Love A Child," have been playing in my head over and over. It's time to hang them back up.