Surgery this week... and an anniversary of sorts

On August 25, 2004, Gracie was admitted to the hospital for scheduled open heart surgery - - an ASD repair and mitral valve repair. As heart surgery goes, not too complicated (although when that surgery is for your child, it's all too complicated). We were told the average hospital stay was 5 days... we braced ourselves for "more than average" given all of the intricacies of CHARGE Syndrome and expected that Gracie would be inpatient for about 10 days. Ten weeks later, she was discharged... with a 'repaired' heart, an internal pacemaker and a tracheostomy. All things, for the most part, went as planned on August 25, 2004... but the days that followed brought many twists & turns, few ups, many downs, excruciatingly terrifying moments and agonizing decisions. I don't dwell on the date of August 25th (it does live in my memory) and I am not particularly superstitious, but I do have a "thing" with dates.

So, when I met with Gracie's surgeon two weeks ago to discuss her pacemaker generator replacement (I always called it a "battery"... who knew? ) and he gave me two dates - - August 25 or August 28, I jumped on August 28. He noted my preference and said his office staff would call and let me know. I did not tell him that it was the "anniversary" of her first surgery, although he had her chart in front of him and quite possibly realized. I just explained that it would be better for Gracie and school, therapy appts, John's ability to be around more over the weekend, etc. I did not breathe a word about my sheer terror of having another "August 25" surgery... but in the back of my mind, I was thinking, "why on earth should we tempt the 'date fate'"? So, when talked to his office and they confirmed "Thursday, August 28th," I was so relieved. And, to be totally frank, I am not sure why. The 28th was no picnic four years ago either. But, I associate the 25th with "before her surgery" and "after her surgery."

The bulk of Gracie's complications were not related to her heart at all. In fact, the issue was her delicate airway that was further damaged by the ET tube (the ventilator tube) and once she went into respiratory failure, she became completely dependent on the external pacemaker and, thus, was implanted with a silver-dollar sized pacemaker on September 8th, 2004. The trach followed on September 15th.

I will always wonder in the back of my mind what that 10 week stay did to alter her path... how much different would she be developmentally had she not been deprived of oxygen so many times? Or had toxic CO2 levels? What if she hadn't been so heavily sedated for three weeks? What if she hadn't needed her trach? Would she still have needed yet another and another open heart surgery? What if... what if...? I will never forget the four failed extubations, the look of sheer terror in my husband's eyes when he was always my pillar of strength, the crash cart that sat next to her crib and then just outside her room for over two weeks. I will never forget holding her as she slowly turned a dusky grey and started slipping away from me... over and over... as we tried to put off the inevitable trach (the trach that was supposed to be "temporary" and is now, based on three opinions, a likely "life sentence"). I will never forget not seeing her face for three weeks because she was intubated and covered in tape to hold the tube in place. I will never forget any of it. But I don't think about it too regularly... if I did, I'd be certifiable.

I think of it just enough to remember how far she's come. I think of it to remember how we got to the other side of it all. I know that I can't change any of the things that happened. I can't turn back the clock and make people do things differently than they did then... and there were some mistakes made, I am quite certain. Nothing will change that, though. Instead, I marvel at where she is today given what she's been through in her life - - her birth, the NICU, the PICU (repeatedly) and what she's been through since those ten fateful weeks. Her road has been bumpy at best... with many other medical struggles, both GI and neurological.

I marvel at where she is today because TODAY (Sunday) she spent over an hour in her gait trainer... happily. TODAY she wore her glasses for over twenty minutes before she threw them off. TODAY she wore her hearing aid and sat independently on the floor while we played finger games. TODAY she played at her bar and bench, side-stepping back and forth, standing up and sitting back down for over a half an hour. TODAY she protested because I gave her (what I thought was) much needed down-time and she was bored. TODAY she gave me some doses of "challenging" behavior because now that she's doing more, she's got more attitude! TODAY, she blew (actually, threw) Preston and me kisses. And, TODAY, when she was saying "bye" to her daddy for the week, she signed "I Love You" without any prompting - - she just waved and signed "I love you." She's happy, she's super loving and social, and she's growing, changing and making great strides each day. I choose to dwell on that.
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Please think of her this Thursday as she goes in to have her pacemaker generator changed. For all intents and purposes, this is a fairly "routine" procedure (a surreal thing to say about my five-year-old and her pacemaker) and barring any complications with the leads (the electrical wiring that goes from the pacemaker to her heart), she should be in surgery less than an hour and in the hospital two days.

First Day of Preschool Kindergarten

Thursday, August 21, 2008 was Gracie's first official day of preschool.
(Because of her precarious health over the years, Gracie has been unable to attend school outside of our home. Last year she made social visits to two different classes to get used to the idea of going to school, and although her teacher in the DHOH program made her feel like she was truly a part of the class, she wasn't official.)

THE PLAN

For now her IEP (Individualized Education Plan) reads that she will attend the DHOH (Deaf & Hard of Hearing) preschool for two hours, two days a week (this was based on her "max tolerance" during her various social visits last school year). All other services, including OT, PT and an additional three hours a week of home hospital instruction, will still be in our home. Once Gracie builds up strength and stamina, we will add a day of preschool attendance and remove an hour of home instruction. At that point, I'd like to add hours to her day to build up her stamina for the full four hour day... but none of that is in the IEP at this time.
Besides letting her know we are going to school by signing to her, Gracie looks at a ring of pictures that include her teacher, her classmates and the classroom.

EXECUTION OF THE PLAN

Let's just say that by my estimation Gracie was a total rock star! We arrived during recess... an event that used to be "non participatory" for her... stressful, the sun is too bright (she won't wear glasses or hats) and she was always too afraid to get out of her KidKart (a modified wheelchair/stroller that is also a seating system). In all the days that she made social visits to school, she was terrified to get out of her KidKart whether indoors or out. On that day... she wanted out of it! We parked in the shade next to the playground where the preschoolers and kindergartners were playing and she signed "up" - - not "ready" or "go." I got her out of that seat as fast as I could and carried her over to the playground where she HAPPILY sat (and mostly laid!) in the bark. She played with bark and was very content just "hanging out" and checking out all the kids playing. When we went inside, the OT had set up an obstacle course and she did the WHOLE THING! There was a little slide,
these colored dots that the kids had to walk on, a tunnel and a little
rolling seat that they had to balance on. She did all of it with my
help... but the best part is that she really didn't want the help. She
really tried to do it on her own (she likes to push my hands away when I help her walk... as though she has the leg strength and balance to do it without support... it's too cute! Her teacher, the teacher's aid and the OT were so impressed and definitely noticed the huge changes in her. She colored & she "read" and she wanted out of the KidKart when it was time to sit. Not so great because we needed her to sit, but great that she was super happy out of the seat and not at all scared or overstimulated. She wanted to scoot around and see all the kids! She had a few moments of "melting down" but was calmed by getting out of her chair and having a moment to be "horizontal" and regroup.
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She had a huge day! When we came home, she was not a happy camper... she wanted to "go go go." So, when I put Preston down for his nap, to the backyard we went. (It's been challenging to get her to understand that we can't "go" anywhere but the backyard when Preston is sleeping.) The day before we had planted flowers in one of our patio pots... she remembered and scooted right over to it, signed "flower" and "up." I helped her stand at the pot and realized that she was going to "pick" them! I helped her back down and cut rose so she could play with it. Check her out!


He loves me... He loves me not... He loves me
We also did a little sidewalk chalk ~ although I was far more into it that day than she was... she just wanted to play with her rose!

Then, to top off her day, her home-hospital teacher came to work with her. She was pretty exhausted... and didn't do a whole lot, but remained calm and sat the entire time. Overall, a huge success that speaks volumes about her new-found strength and stamina. (On a side note - - my little night owl was asking for a bath just before her teacher got here around 4:15... then she waited until about six and asked again! She was sound asleep by 7:50pm! She was TIRED!)


My heart was just exploding all day. I have worked so hard with her the last six weeks on her diet (to increase her calorie intake and thus, her strength), her stamina, her "upright" time, her walking and standing and signing... the list goes on. I was so hopeful that the changes I was seeing at home and out in the community would translate to school. But I was also very nervous. Gracie's day far exceeded my expectations. Now I can't wait for Monday!

Preston's language at 15 months

SIGNS:
mommy
daddy
papa
nana
Gracie
apple
cookie
ouch/hurt
airplane
car/drive
motorcycle
computer
coffee
milk
cheese
cracker
grapes
all done
more
ball
dog
cat
cow
tiger
elephant (puts his hand on his nose)
lion
bird
walk (like a stroller ride walk)
yes
no
bye-bye (waves)
hi (waves)
baby
water
thirsty
hungry
eat
orange
diaper
wash hands (see below... that's when he signed this for the first time, too)
potty (learned he could do this when John said "Daddy's going to go potty" and Preston signed it)
bath
book
suction
sleep
please
thank you
sorry
shoes
brush teeth
hat
hot
wind
fruit
strawberry (red fruit)
signing time
binky
rainbow (does the rainbow part, not the colors part - - and says "bow")
flower
fish
boat
phone
bread (discovered he knew this one on 8/13/08 when I said, "Do you want some bread?" and he signed bread)
Erin - PT
laugh (signed 8/18/08 when Gracie laughed. Actually signed "Gracie laugh"

SIGNED PHRASES:
8/12/08: "More Food" "food please" "cheese eat please"

SOME OF THINGS HE DOES:
"dirty clothes" - he knows to put them away when told - - he knows how to put most things away - - he is actually quite tidy!
he knows most of "itsy bitsy spider"
he knows parts of "open and shut them" finger game
claps for joy
plays peek-a-boo
he does the "if you're happy and you know it" song
blows kisses

THINGS HE SAYS:
dada
mama
papa
woof
meow
ooh-ahh (monkey sounds)
hot (now says "hot-o")
ow
wow
apple
ball
says "ep" for "help" and approximates a sign (the sign I can't count yet because it's not consistent!)
bow (for rainbow)
mow (when lawn is being mowed)
"hi" (Nana worked on this on 8/18/08 while I took Gracie to the doctor)

Excerpts from my Mommy Heart

Never underestimate the compassion of a child...

I have always said that Preston is incredibly sensitive and aware when it comes to Gracie. In the last five or six weeks, he has taken over the role of caregiver... or at least he tries! If Gracie cries, he does everything in his power to make her laugh. He will instantly go from busy little climber to be next to her... he becomes quiet, concerned and ever the entertainer. He will go through his repertoire of sure-fire "get Gracie happy" tricks until one works. It is the sweetest thing to watch.
When she coughs, he runs to her suction bag and grabs the large wash cloth we use to "mop her neck up" and puts it on her trach. SO cute... although I always have to tell him that, "Mommy will help Gracie." He has also taken to stretching the suction tubing and pointing the catheter at her. Again... not something I actually want him doing, but it is the sweetest gesture. When she coughs harder than he likes (if he feels she is distressed) he runs to me, all the while signing her name... as though I didn't hear what he did! He is already her protector and guardian.
Wherever she is in the house, he has one ear tuned only for her noises. He knows her various sounds without looking at her... her laughs, frustrations, cries (which to an unknowing ear can sometimes sound quite similar through her trach) and reacts appropriately. His greatest joys seem to be hearing her laugh (in which case he promptly laughs, too... even when he doesn't have a clue why she is laughing) and making her laugh. I LOVE how much he loves her. It makes my heart soar with pride, joy and pure love.

Bumps and Bruises...

Gracie has been far more active as of late... and it's been such a joy... and has brought some interesting challenges. She wants to "go, go, go" all the time - - which is such a change (and not always can we "go" - - try helping her understand that!). She wants to stand and try to walk so much more than ever before. And... she now tends to be more "in the line of Preston's fire." So when he throws a toy (because boys throw things... we are working on what to throw and where to throw it!) sometimes it bonks Gracie. This is a big "no no" and causes great distress... mostly for me! I worry constantly about her only sighted eye being injured - - so obviously, that's a huge concern. Gracie often laughs when something comes flying at her - - not exactly helpful in teaching Preston that he is "hurting" his sister, and obviously not the most appropriate response to pain (although I wonder if, despite the instant bruise or bump, it doesn't hurt her...?). But, what happens after the incident is too cute! Preston signs "sorry" the minute said object makes impact. Then he signs "hurt" and says "Ow ow ow" in the cutest little voice. He then makes his way to her and gives her big love... hugs and kisses. I have to get this on video... but really, I am too busy playing referee! His whole routine is super cute... however, I don't want him to know I think so! And, I need him to know that just because he does all that, doesn't mean that it's okay to use her for target practice! (He usually isn't bonking her with intent to injure... but does have intent to throw stuff at her (or anyone) when he is overtired.)

A Secret Language...

Gracie has about 90+ expressive signs. (Not including counting - - she counts to ten in sign, but doesn't understand the concept of counting. Also not including the alphabet - - she can sign the alphabet and knows most of the order of the letter signs... but not the concept of the alphabet.) She doesn't sign these signs all the time and on a good day is very connected and will even sign two and three-word utterances. These days are very sporadic.
Preston has nearly 70 expressive signs and about a dozen words (all words he says are words he also signs). His list grows daily when I say a word and he signs it, much to my disbelief. I am thoroughly shocked at his ability to pick-up ASL. The other day, I asked him if he wanted bread and he signed "bread." This is not because I worked on that particular word with him, but because he learned it from "Signing Time." (I'll briefly explain - - I diligently work on ASL with both kids and we also have the entire collection of DVDs. When I need to have Preston on "lock-down" to do Gracie's trach care or a bath and I am alone, I have to make sure that Preston is safe and entertained. So, he takes a seat in Gracie's Rifton desk, all locked in and secure. I give him a sippy cup, a book and put on "Signing Time." This allows me to get the things done for Gracie that are absolutely necessary without having to worry about my curious climber.)
Anyway... my dream is that one day (I am hoping sooner than later) they will communicate with sign. In the meantime, they seem to have this secret language - - gestures that often resemble some of the self-stim actions that Gracie has always done, but almost in a rhythmic pattern. It's like they are doing a dance... a secret dance. They do it in the car, in their seats in the kitchen... and if I make a big deal, they stop. I have yet to sneak the camera on them... and have a feeling they'll never let me. I just know they are communicating with each other... and I know that because I am the mommy, I will never obtain rights to their secret language decoder ring.

Last Weekend... some precious "Daddy Time"

Daddy and his boy

Gracie LOVES to check out trees. I can't wait for the day that she can climb one!

John's life at the Academy is stressful and intense, to say the least. His days are filled with rigorous physical activity and hours of academics. He is holding his own and taking it, literally, one day at a time.
(Check out this article in the Sacramento Bee from Sunday... John is in the picture on the front page!) http://www.sacbee.com/107/story/1158454.html


His weekends are crazy busy, too. In order to keep up, he studies quite a bit. Clearly our home is not suitable for studying (uh... way too crazy!)so he is often gone by 9 or 10 am and usually home for dinner/bath time. These are precious moments that are soaked up by the kids and me.
Last weekend, we had a special treat... all four of us went to one of the new water parks on Saturday evening. (A lot of the new parks have multiple play structures and water features - - which is beyond great in this heat!)
We had a ball... all four of us played and played! :-) (And it helped soften the blow for the serious "Daddy Deprivation" we experienced this weekend.)

Gracie had fun gently reaching out and feeling the water while Daddy and Preston ran around. Then, the water features switched and we got drenched! She LOVED it and laughed!

Preston ran right in... and got soaked!

Oh to be a giggling child on a swing...

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Gracie's fondness for the swing has recently been rekindled... and it's quite a love affair, as you can see! This was taken last week when my mom and I took the kids to the park and I will never get tired of watching it!

The perfect park outing for her is in the evening... not too hot and the sun is long gone. She is incredibly light sensitive and too stubborn to wear a hat or sunglasses for any length of time - - except, of course, for photo ops! She knows when to glam it up and when to be a little diva! Ha!

Big day and a big decision

Big Day
On Wednesday, August 6th, Gracie had her first OT session (Occupational Therapy) in a school setting... and she did GREAT! (She is currently making up sessions that were missed during the school year due to lack of staffing by the district.) This was a huge milestone for her and incredibly encouraging. Previously, Gracie has been too ill or too terrified in unfamiliar settings to even attempt spending an hour in a therapy room and thus, all session have been in our home. She has seen the therapy equipment at the hospital and in the "gym" at the infant program offices and then watched the kids play in the therapy room at school visits, but none of that was ever a positive experience. When she was doing her "social visits" to school, she refused to get out of her Kid Kart and be on the floor (which is her favorite place to be at home... although that is slowly changing, too!) so we really weren't sure what to expect yesterday.

The minute that we walked through the door, she began to cry and get very anxious. Her therapist, Rebekah, and I thought "Uh-oh" but just continued on. I took her out of her stroller and Rebekah set up a platform swing with tire on it and took a bear for a little ride! Gracie chuckled, scooted off my lap and then proceeded to play for the entire session. She tried four different pieces of equipment. The day was about play and comfort, and thus we didn't push her limits so that she'd have a very positive experience and have happy memories for our return next week. I am so very proud of her!

That wasn't the end of her busy day by any means. When we got home, Preston napped and Gracie and I enjoyed the backyard. She "helped" me plant some flowers and do some trimming, we sat under the misters on the patio and she spent some time in her Gait Trainer. When Preston woke up, we were still back there! She finally got too warm about 3:45 and we went in. I thought she'd need some down-time, but nope! She scooted off to the playroom and wanted to work at her bar and bench. She became quite frustrated when I told her she had to wait while I fed Preston a snack - - which is just so funny - - because not too long ago, she was the one signing "wait" when it was time to do all of this physical work!

Later we even had another outing to the pharmacy and grocery store which she now LOVES! (For those of you who don't know, the grocery store used to be a terrifying place for her... the lighting, the temperature variances from one aisle to the next, the smells... it was all too much for her to process.)

Needless to say, I LOVED yesterday!

On her bench - her reflection in the mirror

Signing "sit"

Working hard

Big Decision

I have given up nursing help for the time being. I know... you all may think I am crazy, but let me explain. I have spent the last 3 1/2 weeks without nursing help and two weeks of that were without any help at all because my mom was gone, too. Although it is challenging, it is not impossible. The truth is, I love it... and since I can do it right now, I am going to! The stars have all aligned - - the first one being, of course, the fact that I am not working while John is gone. The second "star" is that Miss Gracie is doing so well and improving in so many ways every day and third, Preston is no longer a "baby" and though super busy, is a sweet boy and manageable with his sister. They actually have formed more of a bond now that it's just "us" in the house. (I guess the fourth thing is that I still function very well on very little sleep! :-))

So, in the end of all this, it's safe to say that the nurse who completely flaked on us has done me a tremendous favor. I never would have known I could do this without a second set of hands in the house all day had it not been forced upon me. And the truth is, I am the happiest (and busiest and craziest) I have been in years... with the exception of my absent husband, of course!

To those who posted recently... Thanks! :-)
Cresenda - - thanks for your kind words! So sorry I missed you... I didn't even see your post until after you had passed through town. Will check out your blog! :-)
Hannah - - thanks for your kind words, too! :-) We aren't too far from each other... perhaps we can figure out a time to try and meet...? I have to tell you... We have a new cupcake place in town and when it opened, I thought of you one of your old posts about your favorite place to get the delicious treats! :-)
Catherine - - Miss you tons. Feels like forever since we last chatted! Would LOVE a visit so much! :-) I'll email you about those little collages! :-)

One week... two tearful goodbyes

Papa with Gracie and Preston... and part of Sophie!

Preston and his Papa

Papa with "his girl"

Gracie and Preston seem to be exchanging a knowing glance here... like something is about to change... and they are right.

On Sunday, July 6th, we bid farewell to Papa (also known as Jim!) as he prepares to head to Afghanistan for one year - - he is being reinstated in the Army after nearly 21 years of retirement. He will spend a few weeks at two different Army bases in South Carolina and Georgia before he departs at the end of July. My mom, Nana, is with him now, spending some precious time together before he leaves. We are so grateful and proud of his service... it takes great men (and women) like Jim to make our country what it is. We will all miss him terribly. I am still struggling with how to help the kids cope during this time. Both of them are so used to having Papa around and even before he left, Preston's second task every morning (after running to his sister for an attack kiss) is to grab his Daddy's picture and Papa's picture from Gracie's picture bin and run around signing and saying their names. It will be difficult to help them understand where he is, especially Gracie, but hopefully with email, phone calls and webcam we can make it a little easier for all of us.

Our second farewell was on Friday, July 11 - - Judy, Gracie's nurse of over 3 1/2 years spent her last day with us as she will be moving out of state. (I didn't post a picture because I didn't ask her if it was okay! :-)) She has been so dedicated to Gracie - - working not only as her nurse, but also as her teacher, her therapist, her advocate and so much more. She will be so greatly missed and again I am left with the struggle of helping my kids, especially Miss Gracie, cope with her absence. With the exception of vacation days, she has been here nearly every weekday for years... Preston doesn't know life without her and surely Gracie doesn't remember. It was a very difficult day - - far more difficult than I imagined. I am so sad for my girl.

There is not a prospect of a nurse to replace her ... the nurse we had lined-up and really thought was going to be great (based on her recommendations, our impression in an interview and subsequent phone calls) has completely flaked on us. There has been no communication with us or our nursing agency in over two weeks so we have to assume that she has decided not to work with Gracie and didn't have the decency or professionalism to let anyone know. Unbelievable, really, and a lesson learned... I should have had (as should have our agency) a contingency plan.

Happy 4th... and an update!

Happy 4th of July! We hope you all had a safe and fun holiday!
Please don't fall out of your chair when you see that there is an update here!
I know... it's shocking! Life has been so busy... so busy in fact, I am not sure where to begin. Here is a quick (well... quick for me!) overview - - I can't believe it's been nearly two months since I last posted. Being a "single" parent has kept me just shy of a constant tailspin!

John: He is hanging in there at the academy. Being the "old guy" has had it's share of challenges - - not so much physically, but because he's been out of practice academically. Study habits and techniques are slowly starting to re-form. (Since they cram 2 1/2 years of curriculum hours into 6 months, I think it would prove challenging for most people.) Physically he is doing well... keeping up with the "young bucks" and I suspect surprising them that "grandpa" can actually keep up with them. As I predicted when he started 10 weeks ago, he has morphed back into his "twenty something" physique and looks quite a bit like he did when we met 12 years ago... hubba hubba!

Gracie: She is doing well overall... "well" is always a qualified statement with her. She had been on major house arrest during the horrible smoke conditions... and missed going outside so much. We are still trying to manage all of her GI issues and keep her tummy happy and hold the migraine cycles at bay - - as a result, she has had no weight gain and we are barely maintaining. Despite this, she has been gaining stamina and strength with her use of the gait trainer and can now do over eight laps around the main living areas of our home... pretty impressive considering we were stuck at three-four laps just a couple of months ago! She seems to be more willing to try new things without as much protest - - so long as she's feeling real well and tolerating the upright position. Check out these photos of her just "hangin' out" on Preston's tricycle!

Not such good news... we saw an ENT at Stanford whom I really liked, but whom delivered a pretty devastating reality. Unless Gracie can regain a functional swallow (which she appeared to have prior to her trach - - although it was probably borderline), she will not be able to be decannulated (get her trach out). She produces an excessive amount of saliva and doesn't swallow it... this affects the amount of suctioning required, explains a large part of her inability to tolerate a Passy Muir valve (speaking valve) and was not the news (obviously) that I was hoping for. She scoped Gracie right there in the office (my girl was a superstar and handled it better than most adults would) by going through her nose to look down at her vocal cords to check function. It was quite sobering... as she made the turn from her nose down to the back of her throat, it looked like a bubble bath - - just a ton of saliva and no vocal cords in sight. The secretions were so tenacious, they blocked any view of the cords - - a sign that her vocal cords are not functioning at their optimum level as they would naturally protect her airway and help keep some of the saliva below that area. There is a therapy (VitalStim) that uses electric stimulation to help train the muscles to swallow - - unfortunately, this is not an option for Miss Gracie because she has a pacemaker. We have previously tried Botox in her salivary glands to minimize her production of saliva, but that failed. We will continue to look for alternative treatment and ways to manage her saliva... and in the meantime, focus on all of the good things that are happening with her!

Preston: Oh my... he's a busy boy! From the moment he wakes up until the minute his eyes finally close... it's go, go, go! He is my diet/exercise plan!!! I could make a fortune "renting him out" as a workout plan for people! He's already signing (many are approximations, of course) about 30 signs and has a handful of oral words now, too. He always signs what he's saying which is so cute! His first word was "ball" just a couple of days after his 1st birthday (not counting his early babbling of "Dada" which is now said with great intent). He's since added "Papa," "apple," "hot," and "wow." ("Wow" was picked up during the diving and gymnastic Olympic Trials because Mommy kept saying it while watching the competitions on TV!) He is obsessed with balls & sports, motorcycles and nice cars (I have no idea how he knows a clunker from a sleek ride, but he does!) - - it's a strong genetic link to his daddy! He loves going to the park, especially our new water parks that have all kinds of sprinkler features! He climbs EVERYTHING and I am convinced is trying to see how many new gray hairs and near heart attacks he can give me in a day!

We discovered his obsessive love of watermelon today, fittingly on the Fourth of July- - check him out!

Happy 1st Birthday, Preston James

Dear Sweet Son,

It's so hard for me to believe that a whole year has passed since you entered this world and changed our lives in so many wonderful ways. I constantly tell people that if we had known how easily you'd blend into our family, we'd have had you sooner... but then, you wouldn't be you, would you!?

Someday you will learn about the concept of nature vs. nurture and the great debate that surrounds what influences a person's character more. What I can tell you about that is this... while those who love you nurture and teach you as much as we can, the nature of who you are and how you are is already well-established. You are a very special boy and you amaze me, Preston. Perhaps that's simply because I am your mommy and I am supposed to feel that way. But, I have a feeling it's because you are an amazing little guy with a kind heart and bubbly little personality! So sweet-natured and friendly, you give such love and delight in making others smile and laugh. You offer up the most delicious kisses & hugs and are especially sensitive and loving toward your sister (most of the time!). You have made me a morning person... because no matter how tired I am when you wake-up, I can't wait to see your sweet, smiling face when I open your door to find you eagerly standing in your crib. And, I think you are just as excited to see whether it's Daddy or me who is coming to get you!

You have changed so much in 12 months... it's really hard to fathom. Busy as can be and ALL boy, but calm in a sense, too. You love your books and will sit through a few and then will jump up to do something else. You are a quick learner and incredibly inquisitive. And though you love to test limits (as you should) you are a good boy and mind really well for such a little guy!

At your one year birthday, you have six teeth with two more trying to poke through, you have eleven signs and are officially a walker! You love dogs - - especially your dog, Sophie, waving hello and calling out to those who pass by, taking baths, exploring the backyard and getting the mail. (You "ask" to go get it by pointing at the spot on the counter where the key is, point to the door and then across the street where the mailboxes are. You help put the key in the hole and open the box and then carry the key back to the house and put the it back when we're done... clapping for joy at the fact that you've accomplished this task! It is quite amusing to watch!) You LOVE music and will dance and "sing" the moment you hear something you like. Thankfully, in the car you accept a break from your kids' music and will eagerly sing along to Rob Thomas and Matchbox Twenty with Mommy!

You delight in each experience, whether it's part of our routine or something new and thus, I love seeing the world through your eyes. You remind me to "stop and smell the roses" and take in moments. As I am with your sister, I feel honored, proud and oh-so humbled to be your Mommy.

Happy 1st Birthday, Bubby.
I love you with all my heart,

Mommy

12 months of Preston