A little "whine" with dinner

Ever had "one of those days?" The kind of day that feels like it will never end... and then when it does, it starts all over...? Well, then you can relate.

It feels like the movie "Groundhog Day" around here... and I am DONE. My fresh air and citrus theory from last week has been blown to shreds this week!

I spoke with a dear girlfriend (for all of five minutes) on the phone last night and she informed me that she was thoroughly enjoying her much needed glass of wine. Ah... sounds delicious and heavenly. But, since I don't drink when I am solely in charge of Miss Gracie (well, either of the kids, but Miss Gracie requires a non-drowsy, stone-cold sober Mommy all night!) this will have to suffice as my "whine" tonight!

Both kids are slooowly on the mend, but not back to themselves. Runny, raw nose for Preston and a deep cough that probably should be checked out if not better very soon. For Miss Gracie, a very red neck (not "redneck"), a continuous flow of "ick" from her trach and a seriously sensitive (more than usual) stomach. They both rally for a bit several times a day, but each gets worn out and cranky... and I have had my fill! The "glass half-full Mama" who normally lives here has left the house and will not be returning until her kids are back to normal!!!

I am now absolutely convinced that Gracie is not sick from the staph bacteria that she has colonized in her respiratory system. The antibiotic she was prescribed hasn't done a bit of good and its only real effect thus far has been to tear up her already hypersensitive tummy. I managed to get her from 23 lbs to 24.4 and now she's back down again. Anyway, her new pulmonologist (saw him last Friday... like him... a lot!) was nice enough to give me a truly honest answer to the question I already asked two of her doctors: How do we know she's actually sick from the bacteria... and that it's not a virus of some sort? I was convinced, once Preston also got sick, that she had a bug and that she wasn't going to benefit from the drug. Her new doctor said it was a good question (uh... thanks) and that we simply don't know if Gracie's really sick from the bacteria or if she has a virus. In a nutshell, we treat her as though she's sick from the bacteria to make sure that she doesn't become sicker from it. It's a crap shoot. To say the least, I am not overjoyed with the idea of giving her a med she doesn't need. And now, I am certain that is exactly what we've done.

Am I whining? Good, because that's my intent!

Gracie's school situation is still not resolved... and that's not really the fault of any party in particular, rather circumstances. Due to illness alone, we have cancelled (over the last week) a formal tour at her school, two therapy appointments and a dentist appointment. We still have to have a transitional IEP here... we need a nursing plan for school... the list goes on. None of the legwork for any of this could have been done prior to our move, so I have been totally at the mercy of timing that I cannot control. Those of you who know me realize that the lack of control is not something with which I deal easily. Cross your fingers... I am scheduled to tour tomorrow morning because my husband will be off and able to stay with the sickies!

Speaking of my husband, I miss him. My PIC (Partner in "Crime", Partner in Children, Partner in Chores, etc.) is so incredibly busy. Don't get me wrong, I am so proud of him. He is working really hard and is surviving break-in, but that doesn't mean I don't miss him desperately. I miss my mom... the phone, texts and emails aren't the same as physical presence. I miss Gracie's school and teachers. I miss the routine of having "stuff" to do... because right now, there's nothing to do! I cannot (without a second set of responsible hands) go anywhere "fun" with the kids. No park, no beach, etc. Both kids want out of the stroller... and since Gracie isn't walking independently, it's impossible to safely "manage" both of them alone in a non-confined space (like the backyard). Therapy and school are on hold until she's better... and I haven't found help with Preston.

So... we get up (Mommy tries to deny the sunrise!), we eat, we brush teeth, we play, we take a drive (to nowhere, quite often, just to get out of the house and get a feeding in for Gracie), we eat, we play, we do "Mommy school" and "Mommy therapy," we do bath time, we eat, we brush teeth and we fight going to sleep... Preston sleeps, Gracie sleeps sporadically and Mommy "sleeps" with one-eye open and then the sun rises and we do it all over again. Whine... Whine... Whine! I am now finished! Is anyone actually still reading this?!

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Okay, so now that my ranting is over... Miss Gracie was LONG overdue for a haircut. I cut her hair the last week in October and since then have trimmed her bangs twice! Her hair grows so fast - - this is a trait she inherited from me! Usually, I like John to do the front because I am so terrified I will poke her with the scissors. She likes to move around a lot (she gets really excited about how cute she's getting!) and it makes me nervous. But, I just couldn't stand it anymore and cut her hair two nights ago. I LOVE Gracie's hair short like this... and so does she! She is happier and sassier with her short little 'do!
(And, yes, I am guilty... I "retouched" this a bit to take out her red neck!)